While signing up voters during our 2-3 time slot, my tablemate and I were approached by a man apparently in his late fifties who started out by talking about the importance of voting, then somehow went on to the Kennedy administration, George Ball, and many other political names that I suppose I should have been taking notes on, but I was so impressed by the fact that he had gone on a ten-minute uninterrupted monologue.
Silly me, for being impressed so early.
Twenty minutes later, the quiet boy collecting voters with me and I had learned about the history of Penn, where he is a professor of something to do with foreign policy and which, he volunteered, has an excellent archeology museum (I decided not to name drop that I knew the UPenn power couple, because I felt that my lead to a thirty minute speech on the etymology of the phrase "power couple"), the history of Johns Hopkins (where he was an undergrad in the "late 60s"), the problems with the date of the Pennsylvania primary, and the fact that he voted for Al Gore in the general but not in the primary.
And then he gave us maps of Philadelphia and circled the train stations and bookstores.
At this point I think we were both wondering whether his next step would be to pitch camp, or to whip out a gun and force us to go to Penn with him and force feed us the history of the hoagie. In fact he did neither and instead looked at his watch and declared that he had to catch his train.
The telling doesn't even do it justice.
But now I have a nice map of Philly.
1 comment:
YOU KNOW YOU'RE FROM PENNSYLVANIA IF:
*Author unknown, received via e-mail.
1. You have an uncontrollable urge to buy bread and milk when you hear the word "snow."
2. You say the correct pronunciation LANG-kist-er instead of the mispronounced Lan-CAST-er, and LEB-en-in instead of the equally incorrect Leb-a-NON.
3. You know the only way to make good fastnachts is to cook them in LARD.
4. You live within two miles of a plant that makes potato chips, corn chips, pretzels, candy, or ice cream, or that packages turkeys, beans, or bologna.
5. You ask the waitress for "dippy eggs" for breakfast.
6. You do things "once," as in "I'll go check in the back room once."
7. You can stop along the road to buy fruits, vegetables, or crafts on the "honor system."
8. You know what REAL Pot Pie is.
9. Your turkey has "filling," not "stuffing," and most certainly NOT "dressing."
10. You talk about a firehouse wedding without cracking a smile.
11. You say things like, "Outen the lights," "I'm calling off today" and "They're calling for snow."
12. You've heard of distelfinks and hex signs.
13. Red Beet Eggs makes your list of top ten favorite foods.
14. You pronounce "Suite" as SUIT, not SWEET.
15. You say you're going out to the shed "AWHILE" instead of "FOR AWHILE."
16. You think the roads in any other state are smooth.
17. You know the Penn State cheer. (WE ARE... PENN STATE.)
18. Hearing horses clopping down a paved street doesn't bring you to the window to see what's going on outside.
19. You never see Confederate Flags, except on the Gettysburg Battlefield.
20. You prefer Hershey's chocolate to any other kind.
21. You consider Pittsburgh to be "out west," and you know the fastest way to Philly is the Turnpike.
22. School closings due to snow take the radio stations a half an hour to finish, because just about every town has its own school district.
23. When someone says 1972, you think of "Agnes," and when someone says 1979 you think of "TMI."
24. You call sloppy joes "barbecue."
25. You think "medium rare" equals "well done."
26. When it snows, they put cinders on the road instead of sand.
27. You know what a "GOB" is.
28. "Hey Yunz Guyz" is a greeting.
29. You take time off school/work for the entire three days of doe season.
30. One of the highlights of your life was a field trip to Pennn's Cave or the Horseshoe Curve.
31. You know exactly what to do when your mother tells you to "Red up your room."
32. You know the time and location of every "Wing Night" in a 20 mile radius.
33. You don't think people from Pittsburgh or Phillly talk funny.
34. You consider an exotic vacation a trip to Virginia Beach or Myrtle Beach.
35. You only own three spices: salt, pepper, and Heinz ketchup.
36. You design your children's Halloween costumes to fit over a snowsuit.
37. Driving is always better in winter because the potholes are covered with snow.
38. You find 20 degree weather just a little "chilly."
39. You can recite the four seasons: Winter, Still Winter, Almost Winter, Construction.
40. Words like "hoagie," "chipped ham," and "pop" actually mean something to you.
41. You learned long ago to step carefully around the buggy tie-ups at the market.
42. You constantly refer to Pennsylvania as "PA."
43. You're over 35 years old, never been outside Pennsylvania and don't see the need to leave.
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