Sunday, June 28, 2009

Today is your lucky day. I am about to make you privy to very rare and valuable information. Namely:

Nom de Plume's Surefire Way to Get the Bus to Stop Right in Front of You: Three Easy Steps

1) Standing on the curb. Your position on the curb relative to other people doesn't matter, but you have to be in the front (see step three).
2) Be the first person to signal for the bus. Or, if someone else signals before you can get to it, signal again forcefully and confidently. Channel the kid in class who knew they knew the answer, but wasn't the one waving their hand around thinking "Pick me pick me pick me!"
3) Dress attractively. This pretty much cinches the deal. Work attire works fine; we're not necessarily talking clubbing attire here, just something that makes you look good and feel powerful. It also helps to be twenty years younger than everyone else at the bus stop, if you can manage that.
If you can pull all this off, I guarantee the bus will stop in front of you. Now go forth and enjoy those good seats without having to run around people to get them.

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